British scientists discover pothole virus
by Steve Cook
SOURCE: THE DAILY SCARE
For many months people have blamedĀ the epidemicĀ of potholes, craters and fissures that have suddenly and embarrassingly turnedĀ British Roads into the battlefieldĀ of the Somme circa 1914 on gormless or corrupt local councils negligently chucking taxpayers' millionsĀ at inept cowboysĀ posing unconvincingly as highway engineers whilst being manifestly clueless as to how to actually build or repairĀ a road.
But it now appears that the stateĀ of British roads has nothing to do with irresponsible councils or cowboy "engineers" taking them for a ride (pardon the pun) but a hitherto undiscovered variant of the Covid 19.
Yes, indeed!
As we all know it has been proven beyond rational thought by secret scientists using top secret science that Covid 19 causes almost all problems, such as strokes in toddlers, prenatalĀ depression, killer vaccines, life-threatening dandruff, climate change, catastrophic shedding of IQ by governments and so on and so forth.
And now those very same scientists using somethingĀ similar to scienceĀ and not at all influenced by the government or in the pay of vested interests, have miraculouslyĀ discoveredĀ thatĀ a hitherto unknown strain of Covid is responsibleĀ forĀ the outbreak of potholes and craters that haveĀ blighted and oftenĀ killedĀ British roads over the past threeĀ years!
This shock discovery unexpectedly lets councils right off the hook and placesĀ the blame squarely where it belongs: sheer bad luck that nobody can prosecute anybody for.
Scientists are working flat out toĀ find an expensive remedy for the Covid Road Virus that will work in at least 0.2% of cases.
The governmentĀ meanwhileĀ will be introducingĀ a ban on cars, the so-called "sixĀ foot rule" by which cars are banned fromĀ making journeysĀ of moreĀ than six feet. This is becauseĀ cars are believed to be the main carrier of theĀ virus,Ā but not the electricĀ ones of course.
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